DB, It takes months for them to begin to let go of the fantasy affair... It takes months for you to begin seeing each other in a better light hearted kinda way... I have been at this 6 months now, and my WAW left and moved out in June while I was away on business... It takes months for everyone to get over the emotional turmoil created by the affair mess... My good guess is the OM will go back to his wife to try to repair his marriage, and your wife will go thru withdrawal of the fantasy of the OM...this takes a few months... My answer is what a wise old guy told me... How much time do you have to get a divorce or reconcile... You have as long as it takes...certainly a year or more... I know it is tough...Hill I am right in the middle of it... My WAW will come over for X-Mas and Thanksgiving, and if I am lucky she and our son may stay the night...but they may not... The holidays are a bad time for being seperated from family...we all have to many emotions on the table... Please keep reading the 180 list and try to follow as much of the 180 list...you have to use the parts of the list that work for your individual sitch... Thanks.
