Thanks guys. I really am working on myself. It's coming along in stages. Stop the pursuit, then pull back, then get myself together, then work on the 180's, then really listen. I'm getting there slowley.
Stay the course....Strength will come
Focus on your life right now, and move forward, not on.
Live your life for you and what you want. 180's should be mostly natural if you just start living again. Get out and do the things you want to do.
Start a list of things that are for you, check them off as you go, and your 180's will be there.
Originally Posted By: InAPickle
There is one thing though. Whenever we talk about the sitch, she always tears up and seems conflicted and worried about her future on her own. Talking about need to get an IRA, a better job, afraid to death I'm going to screw her over in the D settlement. I'm trying to be her best friend in all this, 'cause I don't believe she's playing me for a sucker. But then she goes out and has boucoup fun as if everything is perfectly normal.
You are giving her way too much power here over your emotions. Let her spin and feel the ramifications of her decisions through this. This woman wants to leave you and destroy the family life you have worked to build , Not to be cruel to her or anything, but that is part of this for her new life she wants to forge. The reality of her decisions.
Mostly though, stop talking about your situation...
Don't ask the questions you don't want the answers to.
Any relationship talk will put immense pressure on her....STOP
Originally Posted By: InAPickle
To answer your question steve, I don't believe she's being childish or petty; I think she's conflicted and trying to hold herself together. Remember when I posted my sitch, S11 is a very fragle sensitive kid, and it seems to eat her up that he could be scarred for life by our D, that he could wind up hating his cheating mother, of course D17 too but she's older. It's gonna come out sooner or later.
At least I have one thing going for me, I'll be there for her, not the OM.
You job is to protect your children from this as much as you can.
AND if they should find out about it, you need to be in a spot to protect how they react and guide them through this. And you can't lead from the rear....
