Major confusion to report. After yesterday’s nice exchange I get mess today. I was telling her in a round about way through email that I think she’s sexy. Well I get another email asking what my plans for the new year were. I was dumb and got my hopes up. I told her that I had a couple invites but didn’t know if I would take them and asked her why. She responded with she wouldn’t be home and was sending the kids somewhere. Well, you know the feelings. I then told her if that was the case, I would go on about my invites or better yet have a get together in the house.
She came back mad that I would have company over as she “doesn’t feel it’s right to be partying in the house this year.” She said that was the reason she planned on not being there. That’s a contradiction. How would she know I would want to have company over before I said it? I then told her what I wanted to do was do nothing at home, maybe with her.
She comes back apologizing for me thinking she would be home. She hinted that her plans were in the air but now they’re solid and she was doing her thing. She said she wouldn’t send the kids away and they could have BR time. I told her they have a lot of BR time but they need her time. I told her that I was going out and wasn’t going to baby sit. I told her I wanted to be around people who want to be around me and have a good adult time. I validated her feelings on the party and such and wished her a good safe time. But, I’m sticking to my guns and going out. New outfit and earing and all. I told her I chose not to wallow in these feelings created by our sitch. I want to enjoy little piece of life in between the crap. Am I wrong for this? Should I have just caved? I think my doing my own thing may have made her mad. To boot, the party I’m going to is 20 clicks up the road in the town where the guy I found her in the car with lives. In fact, it’s 2 miles from his place. No, I’m not hunting wabbits or anything.
In the back of my head, I wonder if she was expecting/hoping for another answer to what are you doing tomorrow. Who knows? I have too many questions.
