Originally Posted By: Sigh
I really am the doormat here.

Maybe a good observation. Do you feel like a doormat?

Do you like being in this passive position with her?

Is that who you are or did you get lazy?

Would you change that about yourself? How?

I don't mean in a a$$hole disrespctful way but maybe if you started taking initiative to make choices for yourself she might see you differently.

We fall into roles in a M and BOTH parties allow it to happen even if it is something they don't want or desire.

More work on this ^^^^ one sigh...

Originally Posted By: Sigh
Second, I am working on the parts of myself that I miss, assuming she may miss them, too


Don't assume anything with her it is mindreading BUT she did fall in love with you way back when....

Make the changes for you and if she sees them, well then...all the better.

Originally Posted By: Sigh
If we get past it, we need some deep therapy there


Listen I know very well the fear that comes into play when dealing with someone who may have issues beyond a vanilla variety WAS.

If she does have some emotional/pshycological issue to address it will have to be HER that decides to address it.

THAT is important for you to understand. AND it may mean it has to be done without YOU. For awhile.

It certainly will not happen with you trying to control it.

So be concious of behaving like a dominating ogre.

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am