Ok Rabbit, I have completed your lovely story! Is there another thread of yours to read?

I can't believe what a rockstar you are... I am a huge worrier for sure and this has been the worst thing ever. My mind races like crazy and I can't focus at work. I can't believe how together you were and focused. You did GAL your butt off.

I am afraid in my sitch that my H may believe he is in love and nothing I can do will change that. He is a hopeless romantic and I fear that he has fallen again and it will take forever for him to see the light. I can see in retrospect that he has been 'gone' from our marriage for many months, probably at least April, maybe even January. I have no doubt that he would crack if he went to counseling with me but he keeps putting me off. Then I think I screwed up when I told him to just 'go file'. I challenged him to do it, that was probably not the best move... who knows really? He said from the beginning he wanted a D. When he makes his mind up he wants things done yesterday.

The thing I do have going for me in my sitch is that he can't get completely away from my changes. He may avoid me in the halls but I know people talk to him about me just as they talk about me to him. You know, just small things like 'I saw your wife at blah, blah, she looked really nice etc.' Most recently I colored my dogs hair. He is a chinese crested so mostly hairless... I colored the hair on his head purple... everyone assumed he did it since he is the jokester- I am sure this got back to him in some form. (Sorry if anyone sees this as animal cruelty... he loved it I promise :-)

So, after some NC, I feel a bit re-energized in the 'I can do this' but don't know where the hell to go from here! In addition, I fight with the 'what the heck am I thinking, he is obviously a huge coward, can't tell me or anyone else the truth, why would I want him'? Unfortunately, he has a lot of darn good qualities too... I have to admit.

So about the tension, lack of communication, NC... keep it up or do something different??

(Formerly blgp)
Me-35
H-33
Married 4 yrs
Together 9 yrs
"Bomb" 8/1/10
Separated 8/6/10
D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11

"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."