I am starting to believe you are right about #4. Wondering 'what if' isn't helping and it is pointless. I will admit I am struggling with it more than I would like. I figure I will let myself take my time with this. I need a bit more time to let go and get my feet back under me.
#5 went great, btw. I had a nice night with my baby. Good snuggles, good movie, good ice cream, and glitter glue everywhere!
Even managed to keep up the PMA while in the car she started telling me how her "daddy's-friend-other-not-real-aunt- " was at the Halloween party a few weeks ago. You know, the one I didn't get to go to so H could have one on one time with his D? Yeah. That one. Means younger SIL has been introduced. May be that is why she is avoiding me and didn't throw a big party for her own girl.
Kind of ironic that I spent most of my IC appointment talking about how I want my D to feel safe and that I susspect she has been upset because H is telling her to keep secrets from me. I did good and didn't push for details or tell her to hush. Just let my baby say what she wanted to say and left it at that.
Had a whole talk worked out with my IC, telling her it is ok to tell or not tell mommy anything she wants and how her job is to play and go to day care, not make big decisions for her mommy and daddy. It looks like the little one figured it out on her own. She is a smart cookie.
Had a couple interesting things pop up with MIL. Got a free turkey at work but didn't have room for it. I called MIL to see if she would take it. She said she would cook it up for a Wednesday dinner some night so we could all have it. I slipped and made a comment saying I didn't think I was welcome to go anymore, but that was ok. MIL got offended and said I should know I was welcome. I clarified that it wasn't her who didn't want me there. She got a little upset and said that NOBODY is allowed to tell her who is or is not welcome in her home. She went on to say that I was welcome whenever I wanted.
Then MIL said something REALLY interesting. She said that relationships are changing and that it is really hard right now. When she got divorced from H's dad that the hardest part was to stop loving him. Then she realized that it was ok to still love the man she had fallen in love with, but not the man he really was.
That floored me, because that is exactly what I am trying to wrap my head arround about her son. Not sure if she meant it how it sounded to me, but it was the first time she didn't make me feel like all of this was my fault, and that maybe her son had something to do with this mess.
" was at the Halloween party a few weeks ago. You know, the one I didn't get to go to so H could have one on one time with his D? Yeah. That one. Means younger SIL has been introduced. May be that is why she is avoiding me and didn't throw a big party for her own girl. 
