Not much happened this weekend to speak of. W was acting very nice to me. More relaxed. In fact, one of the kids was saying mommy is acting more calm over the past couple days. They don't know about the hearing. The girl said "I don't want to hurt your feelings but mommy treats you like a roommate." I don't know where she got that from. She may have heard mommy talking about me to her friends and referencing me as the roommate. Who knows?
I was hoping to get something going Friday but the kids wouldn't leave the room and she fell asleep on me. Saturday, she worked and came while I was sleep. She talked a few minutes before her phone rang. Her brother's called in. So nothing there. Today's a waste as we're putting up the tree and her we have a visitor.
What am I venting about. Well, I've been trying to get into the spirit of the holiday. We aren't putting up our many ornaments this year because of the new dog. She was saying since my ornaments are still in the box, that's ok, I can take them with me. I just looked at her and told her I would be leaving them. She gave me some kind of look and asked why since they were gifts from her over the past 10 years. This wasn't DB but I told her I wouldn't want the memories around me and that's the truth. IF this goes through, she will be dead to me once the ink dries and she changes her mind. I know it's childish, but I won't want anything from her. She wants to be friends but after she changes her name, I won't want to be friends with someone who lied to God and me in front our friends and families. I can't trust that person and that's the basis of any friendship. I'm kind of mad because she pissed on my Christmas spirit. Rather than talking, I went outside to smoke and prayed for a happy DB face. I need to keep my sunny side up. I think I'll get a glass of holiday cheer. Her folks are on the way so I will need one. Over the years, I wasn't too much into them because of the things they've done to the W.
But, as quick as we moved into this house, they've changed. Perhaps trying to make up for the crap they did. Until this thing started, I didn't realize how much I do like them. I still need a drink because they talk more than my mom but still.....
To add to my feelings, D called me at work the other day asking could her buddy come over although no one was home. Her bud's folks are separated and they talk about that stuff which is cool. When she asks in a certain way, I know it's not play time but talk time. I never ask what the deal was. Just trust her. Well this time, she tells me. It seems her buddy will have to move because her parents are getting back together and working it out. That's good for their family, but the girls will have to separate. This will make the 3rd couple who was either divorced or separated who got back together. Why not me?????
Just venting and feeling sorry for myself. I'll snap out once I get some holiday cheer in me.
