Wife abandoned me...Now What?

[Mike.4545]

Thanks for you input guys. I did in fact expose the situation to her family several months ago, and they have been tremendously supportive. No, they will not abandon or shut out their daughter ultimately, but they have put a great deal of pressure on her about the affair and made it clear that the OM will not be welcomed into their lives. No matter what happens...I believe it was the right thing to do, as my wife has shown ZERO restraint with not contacting the OM on her own. This has been the only action during own entire situation that actually slowed her down.

We do not live together. She left at the onset of our situation and has her own apartment that she pays for on her own. I made my boundaries clear which she overstepped more than once. It's at that time when I began exposure, reaffirmed my boundaries, and told her I would not tolerate any more contact with OM.

Well she made it a little longer and then overstepped my boundaries again...and this time I told her I was done. I told her that I would not tolerate this treatment anymore and that unless she is willing to have COMPLETE transparency, and begin actively working on reconciling our relationship, that she could do whatever she pleases regarding divorce.

Anything short of her full commitment to rebuilding marriage, then she could consider our next conversation the last...ever. I told her I would not want to see her or communicate with her ever again if she wasn't able to prove her affair was over permanently, and take steps to rebuild what we've lost in our marriage...And I MEAN THIS. Said she needed a few days to think...and although I'm sure she'll run for divorce...I'm ready to accept that. I think time has run out for both of us and is no longer a gift we can enjoy. I know she's not willing to carry on like this anymore, and neither am I.

Ultimately, I'll take everything I've learned and everything I've improved about myself with me...with or without her. If she's gone for good, then maybe someday she'll be able to learn from this as well, but for now it's apparent that she hasn't grown or learned a damn thing from all of this.