So, I did it. I looked at the phone bill. I set up the no-billing list, so at least that is done. I wasn’t really surprised, but it hurt to know he is still talking with OW. I didn’t realize I could check it before, but I printed out the text message record too. That was surprising. Not only do they talk frequently, but they text almost all day and nearly every day. This has been going on since May, just like the phone calls.
Pre-May, H had a lot of computer generated text messages as well. Not sure what that was. No way to tell really.
So, the question I am left with is this… What did I just learn?
1. MIL is not trying to interfere when my H is over. His mother does not constantly text him when he is over. He gets non-stop texts and calls and he tells me it is his mom. I had kind of suspected that was not true, but I feel a little more kindly towards her knowing that she isn’t really trying to interfere when H is over with me.
2. There were no calls to OW during his camping trip with D3, but quite a few before and after. I think my questions about the trip have been answered now. I have already come to terms with this, but the confirmation was hard to see.
3. The length of time that they talk seems to have dropped off quite a bit. Not going to speculate if it means anything though. I doubt it is significant to my R with H either way. It may be significant to her R with my H though, especially considering that he has put his plans to move on hold till January.
4. My H is in much, much, much deeper than I thought. Call it replay, in-love, addiction, whatever you want. He is in it deep.
5. His general good mood and new “openness” cannot be trusted.
6. I also cannot “read” him like I thought I could. My own feelings about him cannot be trusted. I do not know this man.
7. I am detaching. It was hard to go through those records, but not as bad as I was afraid. I am already recovering and wasn’t really surprised. I am more sad than traumatized now. I think that is a good thing for me.
The next question of course is… what should I DO?
1. Continue to detach from H.
2. Decide what, if anything I can do to help my D3.
3. Continue to work to GAL.
4. Decide if I want to “leave the door open.” Do I want him to come home anymore? I know he has clearly stated his intent, but this question is about me, not him. I am sure I don’t want him as he is. What if he came back? What then? Then again, maybe I should just put this question aside and deal with it only if my H clearly wants to come back.
5. Enjoy my night with my daughter tonight. I will have my baby with me. We will do some art, watch a movie, and eat some ice cream. What could be sweeter?
