I can't do this alone

[Dagny-2]

Thanks Jack & Ruikee,

Basket cases unite? I need to drop the rope, I know I do, I think I have given him enough information for vacation, he has our flights, most of our hotel night stays, and he has all our cell numbers, I can drop the rope and stop communicating for a bit. If he wants to know something, he can ask me.

Well, I know I can do better, that is for sure! Better for me, that is. With the kids, I think I am doing the “right” things. He is a cheating a$$, as you say, but the kids found out not through me, but because he drove 12 hours from here with OW and was seen by someone and the news got around and the boys learned it from old middle school class mates. I’m attending divorce care (tonight is the surviving the holiday session, they are having them around the country, the website is www.divorcecare.com if you are interested), and one session was about children – a few things that stuck out to me was to not ask the kids questions about what your spouse said (inquisitor) and to just stick to the facts when speaking (no emotion). I think I’ve been pretty good about this and I don’t speak bad about their father, except to say what he is doing is wrong. My desire was to protect them from knowing about the OW, let them get used to the idea of separation before springing the idea of a girlfriend. But last time I was traveling for business H even asked if the boys wanted to go to a bonfire and 4-wheeling with his girlfriend (this is after the boys told H –via text—that they never wanted to see her again).

When S says he hates his dad, I try and tell him that he is still his father and he loves them very much, but now S just starts saying the lecture and saying I still hate him. I’m thinking I should just let S vent right now, we have a C appointment in December and I’ll let her talk to the boys about that, I just feel for their long time well-being, hating their father isn’t good. But being in a position of sticking up for him is a killer some days!

Dagny