Moving Forward

[gutwrenching]

The addiction stuff, I certainly believe that is true, espcially in my W. There is no doubt she is fighting an addiction. She went cold turkey by her own choosing and supressed the addiction for a while, and then urge hit her again. This week she had an opportunity to feed that addiction. I hope she didn't.

In my experience, the spouse who has ended the affair is not properly capable of being "sensitive" to the other spouse's pain for some time--they are feeling too damaged by (as in Lotus' example) falling off the mountain to be able to see beyond their own wounds, broken bones, flashbacks, etc.

This too really impacts me. I read that passage a few times. This helps piece thigs together. Watching my W cry in pain because of feelings for OM and saying what we have is good, it should be enough, what is wrong with me...wow...that is it...she is feeling too damaged from the fall and although she says over and over she doesn't want to hurt me anymore, she probably can't truly see beyond her own wounds and flashbacks (another great word).

Please keep this coming. It is so helpful, everyone.