H has basically rewritten our history - the past couple of years have been tough but until ex wife showed up, he never said he had been unhappy for 8 years.
I know the problems I contributed to the R - I had trust issues from the start. I kept these to myself but when I found out about an EA he had at work within the first year of our marriage, I lost it. I chose to stay in the R but punished him for years. That was wrong of me. I also brought my fair share of Family of Origin issues to the table. Long story. I have done my best to make amends and have made many positive changes for myself and our R in the past year. There were two other instances of EA's and these indeed were discovered by me "snooping" - these took place the third year of marriage and the 8th year, respectively. We did MC for awhile and the therapist explained to H that he needs to be transparent with me - if he wants to have friendships with women, it's fine but I should be informed. So right now, H believes I will never trust him again and that I will try to control who he speaks to and interacts with.
H and I have had many painful things happen to us, out of both of our control - miscarriages, illness, I had postpartum depression (resolved) and hormonal imbalances (no - really - it's true - now resolved via hormone therapy) which made me volatile at times.
M9+ T 11+ Me42 H44 2 kids under 5 IlYBNILWY -3/10 A discovered late 8/10 H moved out early 9/10 - back two weeks later "Taking a Break" - H moves out 1/2/10
