What I KNOW after being HERE for 3 years.......

[ericmsant2]

Handling,

There's only one person that can stop me.......and I know who that is (ME)

Atta a girl! You’re doing well Handling….

So....I let it really get to me to the point that I was almost sick to my stomach. BECAUSE the thought of H thinking I lied to him was more than I could take.

FTR, my W if given the opportunity would blame ME for global warming. Do you think anything I do will change my W’s POV?

I have remained honest and truthful almost to a fault during this whole thing - despite H's continued lies about even the little things.

Being truthful and honest and true to WHO you are and strive to be is never a “fault”. Keep being YOU handling! F*ck what your H says. You know the truth and really that is all that matters. The more you EXPECT that your H will see YOUR POV, truth and honesty – the more you set yourself up to feel like….

It bothered me to think that H would think that I lied because the person I AM and strive to be does not lie.

…this ^^^

The thing is, I immediately assumed he was thinking the worst of me

Assumptions can really mess with our minds. I have to continually remind myself NOT to assume. It’s not easy Handling but it can be done. Just keep working at it.

thinking I was someone I'm not

FTR, I still struggle with this…what I have learned though is that worrying so much about what someone else thinks about you is a sign of codependence. F*ck what your H thinks. Ya can’t change it anyway. You know you did not lie and you know you’re a good person.

My reason for texting was not because I didn't want him MAD at me (as it would have been not TOO long ago).

Based on what I see (and FTR, I am not a therapist) I would agree you were not concerned about him being angry BUT you were concerned about something. Can you see what it was and HOW it impacts you?

God Bless,
Eric