I know it doesn't *feel* like it, but "Good morning" and "Have a good day" are basic civilities. From here it looks like she's simply pretty detached, while common civilities are painful for you. This kind of reactivity is normal, and it is a good reason to go dark for awhile as you seem to plan to do.
It might be helpful for you to be clear about this with XW:
"XW, texts and calls don't work for me unless there is an emergency. So, let's stick to email for regular co-parenting business. The holiday schedule looks good, thanks."
Thanks for the feedback. I am going to write her about the holidays today. I have told her to only contact me if it is child related and she is doing it. She is detached and I wonder if she has some type of personality disorder?
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I know it doesn't *feel* like it, but "Good morning" and "Have a good day" are basic civilities. From here it looks like she's simply pretty detached, while common civilities are painful for you. This kind of reactivity is normal, and it is a good reason to go dark for awhile as you seem to plan to do.
Yes.
I still have relationship goals with my STBXH, but they are not romantic in any way. My goal is to have a coparenting R that is civil, friendly, and relaxed regardless of what is going on in our personal lives. I have worked my A$$ off the make this possible even though it seemed unlikely to working in the beginning when he was perennially hostile. Having these goals allow me to put that energy into a positive direction, one which will bring many future rewards. I am already feeling the positive effects of my efforts as I gradually build a more trusting and collaborative coparenting R with stbxh.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
lol! She has a commitment disorder. That is a personality disorder in my book-
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
You know violin, I can relate to your timeline. STBXH and I started our relationship in 92 and married in 2000. Our children are 7 and 4.
I'm sorry I haven't followed your thread, your sitch is has been going on for quite a while. Are there specific barriers that are preventing you from detaching?
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
The main barrier was the abrubtness of it all. For 18 years I have had a very deep sense of love for this woman. I told her I would always love her and I meant it. Honestly, I think DB kept me from moving on when I should have. Do I ever need to detach to the point that I don't care about other men spending time with my kids? I hate that.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I am going to write her about the holidays today. I have told her to only contact me if it is child related and she is doing it. She is detached and I wonder if she has some type of personality disorder?