Frankly I think if she wants to rebuild trust, then you need to set a boundary right now. She did the disappearing act again while away - a big trigger for you. She's either struggling with OM again or she's being insensitive to you. Either way, you need to set a boundary about how commitment and trust building means that you need contact not disappearing acts. I would communicate this to her and do the boundary thing: "When you___________, I feel __________, and if it happens again I will _____________." THen the hard part...you have to follow through.
YOu can do this. You have to decide what boundary protects you -
