1. marmie stated that she didn't understand why she wasn't enough .. and that he had to resort to porn to meet his 'needs'.
she's obviously hurt by this. why on earth would you suggest that she lighten up on her views of porn? and that if she had a problem with porn, then the problem was with HER. that's pure judgemental and not what DB-ing is about.
if her husband viewing porn makes her feel that she's not good enough, then her husband's viewing of porn IS a problem. the problem is NOT with marmie's morals or views.
2. she has said that he wasn't just caught ONCE. he was caught a few times. and when he feels bad, it means he knows it's not a good thing. so it is NOT being used as a tool to enhance their sex life. for the record, i'm not against porn but i don't think walking or mrbond is reading the post carefully. porn is doing HARM to their marriage .. it isn't helping it. when porn is being viewed secretively that's a red flag. when it's being done multiple times .. that's also a red flag.
if porn was being used by both parties at the same time. fine. but secretively, it's no different than cheating on your spouse. when he's a repeat offender, it's called an addiction. and you don't take addictions lightly .. if he was an alcoholic, would you suggest that she lighten up and join him in his drinking binges cuz alcohol might help her lose her inhibitions?
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You two really need to read the post and address that point rather than simply ignoring it to talk about their sex life...
