I received an email from my W giving me some guidelines about when she's available for dance practice. She's available in the early evening, as soon as I get home from work, or weekends during the day. In the summer, we would often practice late at night, but that doesn't seem to work at this time.
She attended her last smoking cessation class last night. She seems to be further in the planning process than I've ever seen her. She's talking about buying some type of mint that has nicotine in it. It's going to be an adjustment for her, as coffee and alcohol are triggers for her.
She's ambivalent about the dance competition, and would like to pull out but won't because she made an earlier commitment. She seems out of sorts these days. We've missed our weeknight Salsa venue three weeks in a row. I will encourage her to hold onto the positives, even when she doesn't always feel like it. I will encourage her to continue her commitment to the dance competition, and to continue dance lessons on a regular basis.
The boundaries I think are to allow her to struggle, but not lower my quality of life because of it. This means that I continue to go to lessons or dance venues by myself, even when she's not up to it. I need to stay strong, yet compassionate for myself and both of us.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
