I'm really sorry, lost. WAS often are oblivious to their kids until they 'snap out of it'.
Sometimes....they are less responsbile because they know you will take care of it. Would you be willing to TRY not being available to watch them (without the ensuing argument...you just have plans)?
From your WAW's POV, she's actually helping the kids because she feels that it's better for them to see her happy than sad. That's their perspective.
Right now you're lingering too much on "why can't she see..." scenarios. The fact is that right now she can't see. So what have you been doing to take up the slack?
Imagine she's like a spoiled teenager. The more you try to convince her to see your POV, she's going to do the opposite. So start being the strong confident man you are and BE THE MAN.
Be the man for your kids. Show them the right to your W's wrong. Detach your feelings for your W and concentrate on your kids for now. That thing inhabiting your W's body isn't the person you married right now.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks for the replies, let me try and answer, and then hopefully you can point me in the right diection...
I can try and not be available, and there won't be any fights, sure. I haven't done a good job at all with that, right now I still have the mindset my kids need one stable parent in this mess (she believes she is the stable one), and I always want to be there for them. They are suffering, you can see it.
So I need to work on that.
MrBond, great question, what have I been doing to pick up the slack? I really don't know (not being smart). I have been doing great things with the kids, we always have an adventure planned (it's easy this time of the year, hayrides, train rides, going to see Santa).
She doesn't talk to me, best way to decribe it, I am the deceased to her.
It just really gets to me that the boys are suffering, and she doesn't want to acknowledge it.
I have alot to work on.....
I look forward to any advice.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
Quiet night tonight, I have the boys this weekend and we are going to Hersheypark to see the Christmas stuff there. Not sure who is more excited, them or I.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
Thanks so much Mystik! I am looking forward to this with them, I also got us tickets for "The Polar Express" train ride December 12th.
I am trying to make this Christmas season normal for them (as normal as possible). I am going to have my Thanksgiving with them Sunday.
I'm alone Thanksgiving, so I'm going to visit my Grandmothers roommate at the nursing home, and hang out with the people there for a little, then I'm going to the 10pm opening on Toys R Us and get the boys what they want from Santa.
I'll try and make someone smile at least this Thanksgiving while my wife has POSOM at my spot with my family on Thanksgiving.
I always loved this time of the year, this year...well....
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
