I'm already protected. Not much else I can do on that part. She used me to make her feel good about herself and then suckered me for cash. what the hell was i thinking.
I feel like i am back at square one with my emotions right now. She played me and she knows she can. I dont know what to do and i am really lost. I really dont want to go home. I dont think i even have it in me to be strong for my kids at the moment.
I feel like giving up on it all. Its like im juggling and i keep dropping another ball.
I am not afraid of being alone, I can deal with that. I dont know how to describe what im feeling. I have spent the better part of the day in my office crying. Some man i have become.
Who ever is sending these emails is getting more hurtful. They are being sent to my work email so I dont have the luxury of blocking them.
Get those e-mails to the police if you have too. Seems like there probably some harrasment laws in Canada.
You have to be strong for the kids. This feeling will pass, us LBH have all experienced what you are going through. Some advice I got, is emotions will follow thought. So focus on the positive and future, no use dwelling on the past or negative.
I have already reported the emails. I have saved all of them.
She flipped out again today about something and she called me, of course she doesnt want to be with me, but she is taking my advice from 8 months ago and she is living with friends until she can get her own place. She is going to work on her. She shouldnt have moved in with OM, she shouldnt have brought the kids to his place but its too late, she loves him. She isnt going to live there, but she will still date him and work on herself. Oh, and she cant make her visits with the kids as she has no way to get them and anywhere to take them. She wont take the kids to OM home any more. Here is the icing on the cake, SHe doesnt want me out of her life. I asked her if we close this chapter and move on with the divorce. She doesnt want that, she doesnt see why we have to get a divorce just because she has decided she doesnt want to be with me.
Can i please just say WTF!
i am ranting, but only on here. keeping as much emotion away from her as i can. I apologize if i do it often over the next little while. This time is harder emotionally then before, and i dont know why. I am really struggling now and i cant explain why so hard now then it was 8 months ago. thanks for listening
I am having a bad day. It hit me this morning just why this is so hard. While having breakfast my 14SS told me his dad gets his new place December 1, 2010. It is big enough for him to live there. Since his mom isnt coming home he wants to go live with his dad. Now I know why I have fought so hard to get my family back together. The walls are crumbling around me and I am powerless to stop them.
I not only lost my wife this year, but it looks like i am losing my son. That hurts more than anything, i have struggled so hard to get my wife to come home and be a family and now that ive failed, my son wants to go. I know he is dealing with this his own way. But it doesnt make it any easier. He said he would like to be living with his dad as soon as he can.
After all this, i cant win. I cant keep everything going and i just feel LOST, like i want to crawl in my hole and never come out.
Well, tonight was FC, lots to discuss this week. Mom's 5 day stay at the house, grandmas boyfriend getting kicked out, boys dad and stepmom getting divorced, and my wife and I at each others throats, SS14 want to go live with his dad.
D7 went nuts when that was brought up, even the other 2 boys were upset by it. Our FC is great with the kids and spent alot of time with SS14 today. the rest of us did some family games while they talked.
SS14 is wanting desparatly to be made important in both his parents eyes and he doesnt know what to do about it. He doesnt want to hurt me, but he wants his parents. he doesnt know what to do, but he is going to wait until after the holidays to make a decision.
So that is a small victory today. so i can end the day on some what of a positive note.
I have stepped back, im not responding to W texts or calls as its just to hard for me emotionally. I have blocked her on facebook and my cell. She has sent me an email.
She wants my support for the next 30 days. She wants me to work with her. She will live at her friends place, have no contact with the OM and only talk to me via text or the book i pass back and forth with the kids. All topics will be about the kids.
She wants to take time for herself and figure out her wants and needs, something she admits I was right about in the beginning. this is where I need advise.
She has arrears on her car she needs to pay, the car is at the dealership. She has car insurance she has to pay and living expenses. She is asking me to help her by driving kids back and forth from my town to the city she lives in, during this period of time. She set 30 days as a timeline so I would have a time frame for any committment from me if a agree. She acknowledges that I dont believe anything she says, but she says she truley needs to figure this out for herself. It may take longer than 30 days and she is aware of that, but she wants me to work with her on this.
I have done everything wrong up to this point, so i am looking for guidance on this matter from others on what to do.
Trying to step up around here, normally hang my hat in MLC...wanted you to be aware of that. Grain of salt.
I'll admit not to reading your whole thread...yet.
The kids are your kids right? Together 10 years means you were around for the oldest being 4 and 3. I know step sons...a word I hate.
So why not help out, and you know? Not so much for her but for your kids. Her...ehhh...the kids deffinately.
This 30 day time line, why not see where it goes?
The everything wrong to this point?
I am married to my wife, and you know what, I cannot say that only the good things I did are the reason, I'm pretty sure some of the bad things were a factor as well.
Do not use that as an excuse to do bad things, but don't kick yourself to hard, just do better. And really, she is asking for 30 days and trying to contact you. So...was it really that bad?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Aw tank, I just read this and I'm so sad for you, but I think your older boys are incredibly lucky to have you in their lives. If I were in your shoes, I'd weigh whether or not the visits are good for the kids are not. If the kids will be too hurt by not seeing their mother for the 30 days, then I'd bring them to see her but not talk to her myself. If the kids will be fine without the visits, stay home. I'd insist on AT LEAST 30 days with no contact with OM before evening beginning to discuss your R again. Since she's already proven she's willing to stomp all over your boundaries, set them higher. She has to prove she's changing.
