the anger you harbor toward her (justified or not) only hurts you and your kids

I am not asking you to invite her over for girly sleepovers

I am suggesting that allowing that anger to seep over into everything only damages you

if he marries your ex she WILL be a member of your children's family...doesn't matter if you like it or not or agree with it or not...she just will be

your children should feel at home at his house
it is their house too

I am not disagreeing with you that she may be morally bankrupt
she most likely is
she might be a horrible, awful, mean=-spiritied, soul-less b*tch

but

she will have contact with them because she is someone your ex chooses to be with

you can not pick who he chooses to spend his time or life with, even when he has the boys

that is his choice

I personally believe he loses out because he is dividing his time between his kids and her but that is just my belief

you don't have to like her but you do have to let go of some of the anger and the desire to control his choices