I'm really scared though, I don't want to lose my wife and I don't want to seperate. I love her with every bit of my heart - and I feel physically ill when I think about the fact that she may no longer love me or want to be with me.
SIC,
First thing, read the DB and DR books, they will open your eyes immensely and give you an understanding of what MWD teaches. Until you can procure them, I believe the first chapters are still here in the resources. ( link someone ? not too good with the links ...)
Secondly, your list is a good one, although you are questioning the possibility of that happening. And you will never reach them if you keep looking behind you. Strive for them each and every day.
Slow down and breathe for now. Your fears....are just that ......fears.
Each and every fear inside of ourselves has the capability to be overcome.
Conquer and divide what you really fear into small capable steps that YOU can take on your own. Your largest fear has already stared you down, and you are still vertical, and pumping air, everything else can be overcome.
Keeping your list in mind, what are some things you can do to achieve success on that level ?
