Not sure where to start or end? WAW? #4

[john28]

My W just has a ton of built up anger and resentment towards me, and it showed last night/today. She called me after her class just to chat, and we talked for about 20 minutes or so on her drive home. It's not like her to do that, and it was nice of her.

She mentions in passing that the school district that I'm is switching to traditional calendar next year instead of year round schools. I tell her I think that might be good, who knows. She then tells me she prefers year-round schooling, she's been doing research, etc.... and she would prefer that if possible. I told her I didn't agree with that necessarily, and then I heard her anger and resentment boil on the phone.

I felt her lashing out at me, bring that anger from below and arguing with me. I stayed calm and cool, but she couldn't. She tried to get a rise out of me and I wouldn't give it to her. She then tried to give me the whole, "you just want control over all of this just like before and have it your way, blah blah" stuff. I told her no, I would do some research but as of now I didn't agree with her. That didn't make me a controlling SOB, I just disagreed with her. She then threw an F-bomb at me in some sentence and I told her that the conversation was over, this wasn't productive and for her to have a good night and hung up.

She called back, and I answered. She then began to explain how frustrated and angry she was at me and I validated and told her I understood. But, I wouldn't talk anymore about it tonight because it wasn't a good time to do so. She said something trite and hung up.

Today she came and picked S4 up and took his jacket that I had hanging up for him to wear back to her house. I asked her if she could please bring it back next time because out of the 5 jackets he has, only 1 was left here since we've been switching back and forth and swapping child/clothes. She took it defensively and started to complain about the clothes he wears over to my place and how I should send him back in the same clothing he came over with. I told her that wasn't realistic because we swap every other day and I couldn't do laundry like that, nor did it make sense for S4 to wear the same clothing two days in a row. She basically turned it into a power struggle with me ending up saying, "OK, we'll see if we can do better on this."

She just has all this anger. Self-admittedly she can't let it go. She just has serious anger management issues that now I'm recognizing and in all honestly am empathic to them. It's weird.

Just now she calls me concerning the car that is in the shop (we've been sharing a car for 3 days) and says that it will be ready and she can pick it up later and will get me from work to go there. Then she starts crying and tells me that she's upset she has to drive a busted car and she's been looking at apartments all day and they smell like cat piss. She keeps crying and all I could really say was, "I'm sorry you're sad."