Ok, just trying to sort out some stuff in my head.
About 3 weeks of no contact. Have seen him out of the corner of my eye looking for me and walking by. Saw him in the hallway when I was walking with a client and smiled. He immediately looked down and walked by. Seemed like a very guilty look not one of punishment.
He received the letter from my L saying to delay this til Jan. He was likely surprised who my L was as well as that I even did that since he had told me already that I could have as much time as I wanted. I think he panicked and filed after I told him to go ahead and do it, that I had a lawyer. He called and told me that I should have told him I have a L and that he 'doesn't have anything to hide' which I think is that part that really drove him to go file... that he figured I was catching on.
Essentially NC has been hard and good... but, now I feel like I am further from my goals than ever before. Now I think there is so much tension between us that it is palpable and I don't know if I should try to diffuse it. I don't want to do anything that would look like pursuing. Another thing that adds to this is that the last couple of times he came to talk to me I was pleasant but distracted... wanted him to see me dropping the rope. A little worried it came across as rude, made him feel unimportant (which I have been guilty of in the M). It is such a fine line of listening and validating without appearing too interested/pursuing.
He still hasn't told people at work.
Just not sure if I should continue with what I am doing or I should do something different. I really don't think anything I do is going to make a huge difference but I KNOW he will not be coming to check out any picnic I am having if he senses I am angry/going to confront etc.
Maybe I just need patience and continue with NC.
Thoughts on ways to proceed?
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
