I was the same thing habitacker. I was mentally abusive to my W and my family. I did it so long, it became natural to me. Best thing is to change yourself for the better. Follow what Faith posted. Once your W see that you really want to change, she will come to you.

The hardest thing after you finally do(and I hope you do) get back to gether is not to backslide in your old ways.

keep posting and post ofetn, let us know how it goes.

Me 31 Wife 34
(Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6
Married 3/3/01
Separated 6/4/10
Bomb 6/14/10
Served 6/22/10
EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10
Now Back Together 8/1/10