H pushing Divorce

[beastiemanager]

beatrice-

MLCers love to control, and the divorce process is part of this. He is pulling your strings

Thank you beatrice, this statement was very helpful. I see it in a different perspective now.

the man you loved and trusted is shafting you. - he is not 'himself' Intellectually you know this, but emotionally it is the same man who you loved, had children with, and planned your life with, ending your long marriage.

Oh yeah, you put into words what I have felt, but couldn't identify. I know intellectually, he is in crisis, and emotionally I still look to the old H who is no longer there, but my emotions "seek." Emotions and intellect are not in sink. I don't know if they could be.?

IMO it would be weird if you were fully detached.

Thank you for this. I struggle with this.

Anyway, don't be too hard on yourself if you are still upset, and still care.

Thanks beatrice. I am working hard on detachment and I am improving all the time.

They have no notion at present of what is fair and reasonable. They think they have moved on, they think they owe us nothing, financially, or as little as possible. It is all about them, and how they feel. He may think that things will be better for him post divorce.

I was surprised that he has asked me what I need a month to live on, and he put an amount that I was very surprised to see. It was a lot more than I expected.

Yeah he thinks divorce will solve all his problems. Huh, I suspect he will be busy taking care of OW. She has MANY health issues.

I have noticed they either appear to file pretty much immediately, as part of the initial bomb, or they leave it many months, or even years, and see that they are still not happy, and that they 'need' to cut all ties.

Oh my H falls into the latter part. He has been doing this divorce talk for some time. For over a year and a half.

Remember that this is the crazy train. Take care of yourself. We all miss our old spouses. The MLC model is no substitute. It is so weird having to deal with someone who looks sane, and with whom we have NO connection, emotionally, at all, after so many years.

Yeah I need this tattooed on my forehead. I have to get into the mindset I am living in the Twilight Zone. I am living there and functioning there. I will be there for some time to come. Might as well embrace the "strange" as it will be my home for a LOT longer. And I know I can move out of this neighborhood whenevr I want. But where is the fun in that I ask?