GW... Glad the face slap was good for you too, Lol. From what I'm learning transference is a big part of all this, so let the healing befit for all of us. Honestly, few people ate willing to be brutally honest and tell you that one thing that turns it all around.
Sandi... Strenuous is spot-on! IC stressed need for intense exercise (based on Dr. Daniel Amen's work), and some supplements... Specifically an Omega fish oil supplement used in a study at Harvard that is a precursor to many brain chemicals (specific ratio of DHA:EHA called "Brite Mood"). Ironically, before all this happened, neurologist suggested a dopamine booster for me --- serious deficiencies that I've ignored and not taken care of myself in the past with the thyroid and other issues.
Here is also the habit changing info I'm trying to follow, although GW's suggestion of removing the battery from my phone is pretty interesting!
Below:
Below are some suggestions to help you break a habit:
List all the gains and pains you received from your habit (your habit being your day-to-day relationship with your ex). Example:
Gains of My Addiction:
What negative emotions did being with my ex lessen? For example: depression, boredom, loneliness, fear. What positive emotions did my ex bring out in me: For example: feelings of being loved, needed, wanted, worthy, intelligent, pretty, funny, witty, desirable, safe, secure, comfortable, belonging. To what extent did these emotional fixes effect my every day life? For instance: My job performance improved, my confidence improved, my outlook was more optimistic, I formed better friendships, I became more in tune to my own wants, needs, and desires. How did my relationship improve the quality of my life? For instance: I felt encouragement to continue my education, support in career change, more socially accepted. How much did my relationship make me feel normal and accepted by others? How did my relationship help me improve or grow? For instance: Better education, more patience and tolerance, higher self-esteem, increase in compassion and empathy, more rewarding relationship with my family and friends. Pains of My Addiction:
What did I dislike about the relationship in general? For instance: loss of freedom, arguments, feelings of neglect, sacrifices, being unappreciated, giving more than I received. How much better would my life be if I were to stop my compulsive longing to reconcile? For instance: better daily joy, personal contentment, increased job performance, open to new relationships, regaining sense of self worth, self-respect, loss of anxiety, restfulness, better health, personal freedom, loss of feelings of shame, increased self-dignity, reclaiming my pride. How much would my energy, stamina, and performance levels increase if I were to stop my compulsive longing to reconcile? How much guilt would I be able to let go of? How would my outlook on life improve? Could I avoid legal problems (fighting a divorce, harassment charges)? How would my physical appearance improve? For instance: no more dark circles under my eyes, clearer complexion, lilt in my walk, healthier diet, better personal hygiene, more natural smile. What pleasures could I experience that it is difficult to experience now? For instance: dating and new relationships, freedom, ability to come and go as I please, joining singles groups and activities, satisfaction in feeling my accomplishments.
