Immediate Help Needed on Confronting Spouce

[gutwrenching]

I'm not going to disagree with Sandi. She gave you a lot to think about. And I'm not going to talk about confronting or not.
What I will say is my experience is exactly what Sandi described. W didn't fall into my arms. There were some tears. She did try to deny it. I used the phrase: Stop, we both know you are lying and I think at a minimum I deserve the truth at this point, don't you. That's when she finally admitted the EA, but of course it wasn't really an A because it wasn't physical and it had just started with the ILYs a couple of weeks ago. Guess what, not all true. It wasn't physical, but the EA and ILYs had started about 3 months prior not 2 weeks. And I made the mistake of revealing how I knew when she questioned me and so they did go deeper undercover and were good at hiding it and never again used those sources that I had found.

Don't do an emotional reaction. If you think that confronting is in-line with MWD and it will attain some sort of goal, then pick a time/place that is appropriate and stay calm and in control and lead as Sandi said.

I am so sorry you are here. This really sucks and it will remain hard for a while.