She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

Jack, Eric and Cat thanks for the 2x4s. I knew I had them coming. I may have even invited them after reading my last post. Maybe I just needed the attention.

But Cat you're off base. The anger is there. It always will be. As it will be for everyone else here. I freely admit to cycling through it, but it definitely does not own me the way it did. The skills learned here are practiced and applied, but I doubt even the best DBer would say they NEVER feel angry.

And now you question DB techniques…

Of course they aren’t working…

You are using them as a tactic to get your W back, not as a way to change yourself and your life….

Hey, if I recall, the name of the book is "Divorce Busting" not "work on yourself to change yourself and your life". So yes, I came here to find out how to bust up an impending D and find some coping skills for dealing with an ongoing A. Who didn't?

Am I frustrated that this "solution-based therapy" has not yielded any results? Sh*t yeah. I'm OK with being periodically frustrated.

The irony is not lost on me that to be successful here, I must give up on trying to put my M together.

E, I appreciate the thought you put into your response especially in light of your recent challenges.

“that there's no time for me”, which I translate into her saying to you…”it’s all about YOU crushed when you talk to me – what about ME, cause Crushed honey, this is about ME!”

This was particularly useful. I guess changing the image of my W being a hard-hearted, controlling bit*h into one of a helpless girl who's impacted by past slights; perceived and real, and doesn't realize the pain she's causing everyone is something I need to work on.

It's like being sympathetic to the shark for having a small brain and just doing what it's supposed to do while it tears your leg off. (This was sarcasm Cat, not anger).