I truly believe if you were to "mirror" your H's behavior (to a point), it would be more effective. In other words, you would have the attitude or mindset like a WAS. You become the WAW. That is not bad advise...I just don't say it as pretty as some might.
When I say to act like you were the WAS, do you know what I mean? How would you appear if you acted as if you were the WAS? Think about how your H is toward you.
You might not have a clue about what I'm trying to say, b/c one reason your funny story to your H was so obvious to me--is b/c I can see through the eyes of a WAS.
The WAS does not have act badly, rude, obnoxious, selfish, or any other negative behavior, but the one effective trait is to not care. When he sees that you simply do not care if he loves you.....if he's with OW......if he ever changes another light bulb.....if he answers your email......
See what I mean? Indifference! It's hard to fake when you're hurting. But, I think it helps you to detach and start getting some spunky attitude, and out there GAL, and boot the WAH & OW. At first it may be all fake,but sometimes we have to pretend as the first step in achieving.
I'm not trying to get you divorced! I'm telling you what I think draws the WAS back to the LBS. When you can move on with your life and be happy WITHOUT him. That's what it's all about. He sees he's not IMPORTANT to your life any longer. He's lost his Place in your live. You may think this isn't true and he'd never feel that way, but I challenge you to try it from now through the new year and then make an assesment of things. That's not long, just about six weeks. A hard six weeks(being holidays)but I think it might even be more impressive.
But here's the thing, you have to be determined b/c it won't work if you're just trying to prove the theory doesn't work, or if you do it b/c Sandi blieves it,or if you can't give it your all. There's no doubt about it....it will be very difficult, but what is six weeks compared to the rest of your life?
Unless you think what you're doing now is working.....
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
