Hope you will stick around here for a while. The board is much more than busting divorces. It a good support group. My M was R and I'm still around yaking.....lol.
You sound like a very strong person. I hope this works out for you but in case it doesn't....I'd bet there is a man out there that would really appreciate you.
Just don't get down on yourself, okay? I think LBW's tend to do that b/c of our makeup. Our self-esteem goes right out the door. You have faced some tough stuff and you kept going, I believe you'll keep going through this also.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!