It is so hard being in this position. I seem to cry at the drop of a hat. However, mostly I do it when I'm not around anyone. it's only been a couple days, but I know what I have to do.
I think my snooping days are over (my wife wouldn't believe that) the thought of what it did to my marriage makes me sick. I'm trying to pull back as much as I can and give her plenty of space. I need to work harder on that. This morning she said she'd try to call me while at work but might not be able to because it was busy. I told her don't worry about calling me even though it killed me.
I was running all summer to train for races, but stopped in early Nov. due to all the crisis. I ran for the first time today in about 2 weeks. I know I need to get back to that.
The other issue is that we are still in the same house and it looks like we will be at least until the end of December. I know it will be hard and there is a lot of pain ahead, but I think it could be worth it.
I must admit when we talked about the temporary separation, I did see A LOT of hope in my wife's eyes. I told her that if we have to spend 6m apart in order for a shot to have the rest of our lives together, it's worth it. She totally agreed.
however, I still feel isolated and scared most of the time.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
