online dating tips #3

[flowmom]

I was rejected for years too, and it really did a number on my self-esteem. I made it worse by burying the "woman" side of me. I didn't feel that there was any room to express that part of myself between my husband rejecting me and being in a world seemingly populated by women only (I wasn't in the workforce and had no male friends).

I was lucky that after separation I developed a friendship with a man who validated my inner and outer attractiveness...and helped me to move out of my comfort zone in expressing that part of myself. He encouraged me to start going out in the world as a single woman, etc. I remember that I was terrified to even smile at a man or make eye contact.

At the same time my outer self was transforming dramatically. I used the LBS diet to jumpstart losing 30 lbs and I also started dressing to express my femininity, like I did when I was still me. I started primping more too. It was amazing how differently people treated me, both people who knew me and people who didn't. Some of it was that I looked better. But some of it was people picking up on my vibe of wanting to radiate my energy outward into the world.

For many men, I've noticed that what often increases their self-confidence is exercising and spending time with guy friends. It seems like you guys get a boost from those things. That inner boost is something that affects all areas of your life including interactions with women.