I still put so much blame on myself that my M has come to this point.
Okay... time for a 2x4!
::SMACK::
Stop doing that! You know nothing good comes out of drowning yourself in misery and that nasty B word. The B word is awful and gets you nowhere. Blame yourself for half of the f-ckery but not all of it. You are only responsible for what you did, not what she did. It takes TWO to make a M work and if she wants out, that is NOT your problem. You have tried over and over again to save your M. The ball is in her court. It still is.
This entire ordeal is gruelling. Emotionally, psychologically, mentally. You adore her. I know that. She wants out and if she wants out, then you have got to let her go. Give her what she wants. In the meantime, work on yourself. But again, 2x4 time!-- I am virtually smacking you upside the head! Turn your frown upside down, stand up a little taller and do something nice for yourself today. You like funny movies? Rent one. Ice cream is your downfall? Go to Baskin Robbins today and get the biggest scoop of your favorite flavor and then laugh when you realize how many ridiculous calories you just consumed. Then smile. You need some mental cleansing? Go the gym, Go for a run, exercise. Wink at a hot lady. Then laugh at yourself cause you just winked at a hot lady.
I know this hurts like hell but you CAN and you WILL get through this. Weigh your legal options, think about what you want in the D, and have your L draft something up for you to send to hers.
You like funny movies? Rent one. Ice cream is your downfall? Go to Baskin Robbins today and get the biggest scoop of your favorite flavor and then laugh when you realize how many ridiculous calories you just consumed. Then smile. You need some mental cleansing? Go the gym, Go for a run, exercise. Wink at a hot lady. Then laugh at yourself cause you just winked at a hot lady. 