My H & I went through a stitch similar to this. We M just a few weeks after his father died. We both were very young and unprepared for the fallout. I had never lost anyone close so I did not understand what he was going through. I realize, now, I was no support whatsoever. I was so self-centered! There was other major things that affected our lives and all of it together was a ton of stress on our M.
If your W has not experienced losing a close family member, then she may not be able to sympathize very much. Even though the two of you were together before, she may have expected more from the M than she received. Since you were having to give your time and attention mostly to your father....she may have felt emotionally abandoned.
I would suggest that you not pursue, but don't run away or avoid her if you should bump into her. Give it some time to see how she responds. If given the opportunity to see her, don't discuss the R and try to be positive and upbeat.
You are going through a very difficult time. It will take you time to grieve over the loss of your father. You may not want to get out, but GAL is probably what you need to do for yourself. It also makes you more interesting as a man. I think when she sees that man she fell in love with...it will draw her back again.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
