IB - I have felt like I should be able to "just get over it" too, but it doesn't work that way. When married as long as we were our M and R with our spouse becomes part of who we are and that's not something that just goes away when one person checks out.

Hang in there. This is a LONG process. Longer for some than others. I think the length of time is related to how much of your identity was connected to the M. For me, I know it was too much - thus my continued difficulty.

Some days I like who I am and where I'm going, other days I don't and I let the memories take over and miss what I "had." I can't do that anymore. I know that.

Looking within................not always pretty, but necessary.

"Do not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness." - James Thurber