H has taken to brandishing a mortgage review form demanding that `we` make a decision. Telling me that I had wanted the separation and that he would be moving before Christmas. And that it was now a question of where the children would be spending Xmas-with him or me.
I stayed calm with all of that. Reiterated my statement that I am willing to go to marriage counselling. If he wanted to move out though I accept his decision too but that I wouldn`t sign anything without solicitors advice. H was very angry with that wanted me to agree to custody arrangements too.
He said "I don`t love you" All that on Saturday when he knew I was sick-sick enough to cancel a night out with gfs. H has a pattern of going after me when I`m feeling low.
I can see that H is very very much stuck in anger/bitterness mode. He is almost dangerously angry with me.He is trying to pick fights-says I`m irrational and confused-but I`m resisting the bait.
I`m dealing with a very unhappy man that wants us all to feel the pain. H threatened to leave before Xmas last year but I was devastated at the thoughts of the children`s Xmases being marked with that and begged him to stay til January. Mid summer he admitted he didn`t know what he was thinking to suggest the preXmas exit. Yet here he is, back at it again.
My feeling now is that it is important that I don`t stop him. Let him go.
Yes, it hurts to be told "IDNLY" but it only confirms how I have felt with H`s treatment of me over the years-unloved by him.
I do get that he`s crippled emotionally and the hows and whys of that but he doesn`t need me meddling with that work.
