My 40 year old wife's MLC

[Troy999]

Thanks for the feedback from all of you. I really thought I was doing the right thing by going to the party. I would have felt like a doormat if I did not go? I struggle with the detaching part of this. How can I detach and still show her empathy and validate her feelings. The hard part is that we do not communicate at all. We say good morning, good bye and hello in the afternoon. If it does not involve the kids we do not talk. Let me get some advice before the next situation comes up. We are having Thanksgiving at her brothers house out of town this year. I know she does not want me to go. Her family wants me to go. Should I stay home by myself or slug through the day with her being pissed off at me for being there? I am thinking of telling her that I will sit this one out so she can have the day with her family and get away from the stress of our situation.

I do feel like a martyr but I feel less and less like that as time goes on. I really appreciate this feedback. I wish I had Eric on my shoulder telling me what to do since I obviously have not been doing this right. Maybe I will adopt the George Castanza approach-do everything the opposite of what your instincts tell you to do.