In the divorce settlement I asked for the support to be direct deposited. Advantages... he didn't have to write out a check every month and get mad at me... I didn't have to wait for him to write a check.. and it provides a consistent non confrontational means of getting the court decreed amount. And consistent deposits help both of you because it shows that the guidelines are being met and enhances your credit if you make a major purchase.
Most companies, even small ones, can set up a direct deposit for their employee and funnel the salary and support payments into two separate bank accounts. Ask the company. He said they couldn't. when I asked they said the check could split in up to nine accounts. He was lazy AND wanted control.
This is business. Treat it as a transaction.
You're not asking. You're stating a fact. Know the section, page and paragraph where it's stated. You are providing a solution for an uneasy situation.
If you treat it impersonally.. the more likely he will, too.
Every time he has to write a check out to you it reminds him of how much this is costing him. Let his company do it for him.
It takes the sting away from him, the sense of powerlessness from you and just makes it happen.
The bomb, the craziness of the situation, the emotional goo heighten everything. The more things can be simplified, the easier things get. He gets a check with X % less. You get a support check. Another degree of separation.
Advantages:
Shows that he's meeting the court obligation exactly. Tracks the payments. Checks don't get lost in the mail or forgotten to be deposited. It's an automatic payment, something he probably has several of.
Keep going!
Remember.. it's not personal and it simplifies both your lives.
