Still Moving Forward

[BeingMe]

So, H and I are in the throes of putting our SA together. We had an argument ... quite intense, since he never argues, just walks away. I know now what he thinks of me. I may still have feelings, but he is quite devoid of any for me, and as I have stated many times on this board and to him ... this has been going on for 5 years since EA. He says he tried, but I didn't see any trying. He says I have a twisted mind. Nice of him to refer to my brain since a tumor has just recently occupied it, so it could literally be twisted. Who knows!?

The last straw was his traveling for work ... it was supposed to be 2 weeks between 5 or 6 weeks. No problem. I could handle this while we try and work on our issues. But, in the last few months he has been home around a week in a month. I am just so lonely. This is not what I signed up for when we moved to this place. If we were a happy couple, then it wouldn't be so bad ... I would look forward to him coming home, and we would be happy for that one week or so, but now it's just miserable. I told him, I'm done, and he is happy for it to be so. My friends tell me not to do so, but he hasn't asked me to change my mind. I will not ask him to change his again. I went down that road 5 years ago, and look what it got me. So, this is it ... the end. I am sad, but I know I will find a new life without him. I am also sad because all my kids are on the way out too.