Mainly I believe H wants what is best for his D, and that really is important to him. He just isn't thinking past himself.
My H too. He would never do anything he thought was detrimental or harmful towards his kids. But since he's wearing love goggles his decision making is influenced, and anything I say is tainted, so here we are.
Just FTR, my H and I had an agreement, we had a very frank discussion, and then while I was out of town he broke it (late August - you can read about it in my sitch). We sat down with a MC to mediate a conversation just Friday past, and again, he can't hear anything. They can justify and rationalize anything. It was frustrating, pointless and a waste of time.
Originally Posted By: hope for zen
He also seems to be reaching out to me for parenting advice. I keep it minimal and tell him he will figure out what works for him, but this really requires an agreement between us.
He is also afraid of loosing contact with her. Coming up, H is about to be opening the restaurant. That means working almost 7 days a week and closing up at 3am. This is going to last through the holidays, probably much longer. I have never tried to keep D3 from him, but I have left him to figure out pick up & drop off on his own. He is bassically asking me to do a lot to help him get time with D3. I am not doing backflips, but I am going to help. D3 does need to see him.
Great advice I got from a poster named Grace (ok, I'm paraphrasing) ... your husband's relationship with your D3 is his relationship ... it's not your place to get involved, either to attempt to improve or worsen it. He needs to do it, and then it is what it is.
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
