Here we go up, up, up... and away!

[PEI]

My goal is to point out to my H that D3 is being effected by his behavior in front of her. He tends to think that this stuff just goes over her head, but she picks up way more than he realizes. Like wanting to us to take D3 to the park while he tells me he will be filing for divorce. He tends to have a "she will adjust to whatever happens" attitude.

This could be me ... seriously. Do you really think he doesn't know this? And if he truly doesn't, do you think he's going to hear any of it from you? I'm not busting on ya, really I'm not. You have expectations ... many of them, and while they are reasonable to most of us ... well, lets just say expectations in these cases at best usually lead to disappointment.

Ideally I would like us to write guidelines for ourselves with the intent that they be included in any divorce agreement.

You can write them till the cows come home, until they are apart of a signed agreement he can change his mind a million times. Are you legally separated, or are you working on a legal document for the separation/divorce? If so, you are not going to want to agree to anything in writing without your lawyer giving it a once over.

At a minimum I want to know when my D is arround OW or any other non-family or friend. I feel that is reasonable. He should want the same thing too.

Is he a good father? Do you trust him to take care of her? Do you really expect that he will honor this? Why do you feel entitled to this info?

Zen, I'm not giving you a hard time, just throwing some stuff at you that I've been considering through this process ... not sure if you're up on my sitch or not, but I've been dealing with exact issue since August. And it's frustrating as hell.

Let's keep diggin' ...