well this past year has been tough, my father died in June. he got sick in Feb, but we didn't find out until 2 weeks before he died it was cancer. I was spending a lot of time with him up until then. In the process she felt lonely, but before then she was complaining of me not being attentive enough, taken for granted, intimacy..I accept responsibility for these, but really didn't know how to communicate with her when going thru the stuff. But over the past year alone was an adjustment when she moved in. So anyway things had gotten really bad in July, I was really feeling the loss of my father, and she didn't seem to get it. We had some very heated arguments, I said some things out anger and grief. I feel horrible about.
so fast forward up to now, she felt trapped, feels the need to be free, financially (she is a trust fund baby-kinda), and doesn't want the responsibility of a relationship. I know I am little scattered here, my head and emotions, are still a bit in dismay. I read the DR book, and spoke with dotty today about how to handle some things, and any positive signs to look out for. (it's really hard)
She comes by when I am not there to see our dogs, we chat thru text (very brief), she actually came by today and did some of her laundry. I felt kinda like a doormat, but I love her.. Dotty said I did the right thing, just being a friend for now. I just need help with the contact rules, how to avoid her desire to divorce, and what to look for for hope in this situation. I am also needing help in defining goals. Small goals that is. "I want to stay married to my wife", is a pretty big goal, how do downsize this to stay motivated and hopeful??
again I thank you dbmod for checking with me.. I am really in a state of @#$..and really wish there was an instant messenging line here that I could reach out to someone when needed..
