I'm trying just to stay sane. I got his attention after all of this time? I'm not so sure that this is not too little too late on my part. You can only keep beating your head against awall for so long before you are too dazed and confused to stop.
Good to see a smiley face. Things better? Really have been worried about you for the past few days. Johanna
Getting the spouse's attention.....that's what it becomes sometimes when we have to take such drastic actions. She keeps telling me that I abandoned her when I left the house in October. Truth was, I felt that I had to do something drastic to get her attention, now she's in therapy, and reading Michelle's books (currently on D.B.), things she should have done long ago. She chose instead to distrust me, and push my buttons.
I'm ready to leave, just like Johanna is, but I'm willing to be a bit more patient. I think I have a woman who wants a certain type of man, and the standard is such that every man will disappoint her....just like her father. She can never open up, or let her guard down long enough for me, or any man, to get in.
I hardly think that you have abandoned her, as often as you two have contact. It would be very different if you had walked and not looked back, but you are maintaining a high level of contact. You see the girls, go to dinner and parties, until recently worked together, gees, that is not abandonment.
You both have given each other reasons for the distrust. Rebuilding that trust will take time, effort, patience, and counseling.
She seems willing to tentatively try, so try. Slowly, don't ovewhemlm her. You have pushed each other's buttons, part of the anger and hurt that you each have. Not impossible to overcome, but you both are at fault for doing that to each other.
How's the new job and the apartment decorating coming along?
The job is going great! I hear that my old boss is pissed that I got a new, highly satisfactory gig so soon after leaving. He wanted me to suffer, apparently.
The apt. is very sparse. My wife came over a couple weeks ago and cried when she saw it. She suggested we go get some rental furniture to spruce the place up, but I don't want to invest in it right now. If I get a feel that the marriage will dissolve, I will put my money into new furniture instead. I am having trouble sleeping there, but otherwise it's okay. Don't have the energy to decorate, or do much of anything. Going to be attending plenty of parties this weekend though! Can't wait. Might meet someone interesting
I know, I know....can't go there. I'll probably just think of my wife the whole time anyway.
The pimp pad might be sparse, but it is a safe place to be and it is yours. You can always decorate later. At least get a bed to sleep in, you need your rest. I'm still thinking that Christopher Lowell would do you up just fine....LOL
Parties. Ah, yes, the lovely Holiday parties without snow, winter coats, or snow boots in LA. Remember what we said about wolves. They come in female form, too.
Job is a good thing. It happenned when you needed it to. I can't believe that you have a guardian angel that took care of that for you. (Or connections, or whatever happenned, I'm not asking.)
You sound so much better than you have. Even though it is still rough, you are making it through this.
I'm making it through this somehow, but I'm still letting myself get into obsessive behavior regarding the wife.
I bought a new Hugo Boss black suit this week, and am attending several Xmas parties Friday and Saturday. I'm gonna be one handsome pimp daddy, so God help me if the wolves come prowl my way. I don't feel that I'm truly exclusive to my wife, even though that's what we agreed to in counseling last week. If she's not being exclusive, why should I?
I'm sure that all will be fine this weekend. I just need to, I think, focus on keeping myself happy and positive as much as I can. I still want resolution in this marriage, dammit!! I'm impatient. We have our next counseling meeting Friday afternoon. Can't wait!!!!!! The last one was a disaster.
Love ya, and have a good one today. Let me know if I can help your situation in any way.
FINALLY feeling better, just woke up, still sleeping alot, but not as achy as I was. I hate feeling like my body was used as a basketball. OUCH.
How were the parties and did you behave yourself? I had to miss a party last night since I was not up to going. It would have been fun, but just too tired to go. Besides, I looked like I just rolled out of bed because I have been in bed all weekend. I look like he!! right now.
Think I will go out and pick up a few things later today. We got about 2" of snow yesterday. It's pretty.
Yeah, shoveling, getting stuck in the drifts, doing doughnuts on ice, catching snowflakes on your tongue, walking the dog in fresh powder, scraping your windshield, freezing your butt off..... LOL
