Then I am clearly missing the boat. Explain the Going Dark for me. I agree with Cathy that I should be showing her empathy, and I actually have! When her affair came to light 2 weeks ago, I was very empathetic. I told her she is human, and that I can forgive what she did. When I said the Initial Affair, I meant that there were two affairs: mine and hers. I didn't want the session to end without getting into what she did most recently.
I have tried empathy, and now she wants space. It's right around the holidays, and I still don't really know what she wants from me, other than space. I'm inclined to give it to her. There's a section in the book D.B. that suggests doing a 180, basically going on about my life as if without getting involved in her *stuff*. I'm operating ion a vacuum here, folks. In the absence of anything from her, I'm going to make decisions that benefit my happiness, and that of my daughters. How does one Go Dark, yet keep a dialogue going with a spouse that Wants Space?
Can you understand my confusion here? I have a life to live.
