Look up Retrouvaille at www.helpourmarriage.org. Find the next weekend near you and sign up for it. They will help you through all of this. In the meantime, be nice to each other. Say please, thank you, notice when the other does something nice for you and mention it. Try not to be critical of each other, and do some things together without arguing.
"After the Affair" by Janis Spring is a good book for both of you to read. Reconciling is a long process. Don't rely on luck. Let people who have been there and worked through it themselves help you find your way through this!
