My BF's wife who has always been supportive of me gave me a good "talking to" as I would call it.
The usual-"You deserve to be happy"
She also shared with me that W told some of my other friends (girls) that I abused her.
Also offered to trade Xanex for other drugs to another friend of my BMF.
Conclusion from my BMF's wife. She is really screwed up and I need to move on.
It made me think of all the other stuff I suspected but never confirmed and how much lying actually went on during my whole relationship with her.
I know the lying and the behavior has to do with her being abused as a child and being a "victim"
She would say things to me about exH to that affect too. That he abused her. And I would say physical? And she would stop short of saying that.
I know my friends all know me better than to believe it and so I guess that's why it never got mentioned to me. BMF's wife didn't want to tell me becuase she thought it would hurt me and decided not to bash W because i asked her not to.
So she finally told me this stuff.
I am sure OM got an earful about me too.
I cycled through the whole anger of this in about a day.
I am calm now and back to my center.
I am just trying to figure out what I want going forward.
I want W to find her peace.
I want peace for me and I know I control that but I am questioning again whether that can be in a M with my W.
What I thought I knew as truth never was.
She has been lying to me from the beginning of our R I believe. I don't think it vindicative but it is to hide what she was doing to cope with her pain.
And she is very good at it.
I am not sure I trust myself to know the difference and I know I don't want that nagging in my gut that came from my suspicion pretty much through or whole R.
Her friendships I didn't know about.
Her disapearing in a bar, party, where ever for unexplained amounts of time.
All of this crap came back to me as I cycled through this "new" information.
Am I capable of dealing with this?
I know I am much stronger than I was.
I know that I am a different person.
I know I am capable of having a fulfulling life.
I am just questioning if that can happen with my W.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
