Stbx and I are texting back and forth. He says he kieeps dreaming about me, that he misses me, invites me over. it ell him I don't wantt o be only his lover. I ask him why are we getting a d if he doesn't want a D, per him, and he says it's because it's too late, we've both done bad things, can't change the past. Ok. Sat we speak and talk some more. Repeat of the previous day. I really hate this. He says his leg is really hurt from sports and he's resting it, hardly goes out, we're D'ing because you're never gonna trust me and I won't trust you since you left, etc. HG invites me out and I go w/ him. I drank too much. I ended up sdtaying the night since it was better not to drive. We kiss. it doesn't go beyond that. In the a.m. my mom had a medidcal emergency and is taken to hopsital, I go straight from HG's to hospital. She is stable now and wil be in hospital for a few days. That sucked royally and I was crying. I tell stbx of mom's emergency. I don't know why. But I did. He calls and says he;s gonna come over but we're somewhere else. He then tells me he went downtown the night before, ran into some of my girlfriends, asked if I'd gone out. I said Yes. He tells me as far as he can see I didn't sleep at home last night. I didn't say anything. Asks if I'm seeing someone. I tell him I have been out to dinner & hung out w/ someone a handful of times, it's not serious, etc. He goes off. How wrong I am. How he knows I'm having sex with other men, etc. I told him I'm not and he does not believe me. That he thought I'd at least wait, asks if "the guy" is better than him, that I must not really want to be w/ him if I'm doing that. I told him I asked you a thousand times if you wanted to work on our M and you said NO over and over again. He says it's too late now, that he was going to at leaset wait til D is final to see anyone but now he may do what I've been doing, etc. Then a barrage of texts about how wrong I am and how he's eternally greatful for me for showing him how to love and he believes I am the only one for him, ony wants to be married once.
WTF, man. I am seriously feeling like WTF! My sis says I shouldn't have told him about HG. She's right but at least I was honest right? It's better to tell the truth. I am confused. Grr.
Am off to the hospital now. Any and all advice is welcome.
