Obsession is not 9/10's of the law :-) It will, in fact, cause you a lot of undue pain.
I would strongly suggest that you back off. Give your wife some space. Get your mind in some semblance of order so you can be sane for your kids.
Kids need at least one sane parent. Your wife is off on her big adventure, you are off on a deepwoods adventure in Emotion Land.
The facts in your situation are simple.
1) There is no quick fix, so stop trying to fix it quick.
2) See item number 1.
Return to the land of the normal breathers and be available to your kids. Do it now, and stay there. Take a trip to the book store and grab a copy of divorce busting. Read it. Stop panicing. This is not the end of the world. This is not the last time you will face trauma or hard times in your life. You can deal with it.
The pain and fear you are experiencing now will let up in time * IF * you stop feeding it.
All the best,
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
