Here is my take on it....watch out cause you aren't going to like it. You called the fireman, she is still infatuated with him which means that message from you to him caused her to feel the need to contact him....she was probably just looking for an excuse and what better reason than to call and apologize for her unreasonable husband. BINGO! Back in contact with the fireman. The last post I wrote to you was about playing into your fears and only making things worse. At times, actions that give us temporary relief....like telling off the guy who screwed our wife can really backfire on us. Learn from your mistake.
Brian, are you reading what people are writing and are you putting any thought into following any of the suggestions being made. If you are I don't see it. Why on earth would you send roses to a woman who has ask you for space? Fear! Why would you give a daily phone call to a woman who has ask you for space? Fear! Why would you call and speak to a co-worker to see if she had recieved the flowers? Fear! Why are you on this board tonight repeating the same things you have been saying over and over again? Fear! You are going to lose the battle cause you can't get the fear under control. You can't see the damned forest for the trees
I'm going to quote Corri here, "You are now on the other side of the fence. Now you see things from a different point of view. This isn't my way of saying it's 'payback' time. It is my way of saying that you have now experienced a similar situation from both sides of the field. You now have a unique perspective. So what are you going to do with what you've learned?"
You've done the hurting in your marriage and now you are being hurt. What are you going to do with this unique perspective? What are you learning, what have you learned? Stop acting like you are feeling your way around in the dark because you aren't. You have experienced enough in your marriage that you should be able to handle this situation better than you are.
This is going to sound harsh but you need to hear it...let go of the fu#*ing fear and get out of the life of a woman who has sent you a clear message that she wants time and space away from the confines of her marriage. If you don't do that and do it now you are going to end up standing in the middle of the forest alone.
Get your mind on your girls, get yourself into therapy with them. I can't imagine what they must be thinking and feeling about this mess. Get focused on something you have some control over.....calming them and easing their fears. Let your wife go, give her the space she ask for so she can learn for herself. Stop spinning your wheels and kicking up dust cause you are only choking the life out of your marriage. Brian, your wife is just looking for reasons to follow through with this fireman. Why can't you see that you are spoon feeding them to her? Cathy
