But the best thing to do is to work on you. You can't make him do anything. But the stronger you are, and the more you are able to handle his behavoir in an adult fashion, the more respect he will have for you. Screaming at each other is childish and you will kill any/all respect if you continue.
I too was here about 6 years ago. My H was leaving, I freaked out, found these boards, DB'd my butt off and it did get a bit better. But he is doing it again--he is miserable, etc.
I am sooooo glad I found these boards. My H is never going to change and I can't "make him". I have done a ton of work on myself and you know what? I'm over his nonsense. If he is miserable with me, fine. I have other options in life than to work myself to the bone for someone who is miserable with me.
Since I have increased my inner strength and peace, H again is taking notice. I'm sure he doesn't know HOW in the world I am so strong but I credit the good people here and God for keeping me from cracking. Believe you me, I get it. I have not worked in 16 years. It's terrifying. But it's more terrifying staying in a loveless, disrespectful marriage where I never hear a word of appreciation, and haven't heard "I love you" in over 2 years.
